To be honest, I couldn’t quite figure out what to write about for you guys. At first I started writing about Star Wars, but the further I got into it, the more it became just my opinion on the movie and it had nothing to do with anything. So instead I thought about what most of us have in common right now: we’re at home.
I’ve been home for 10 days now, which is longer than I’ve been home in over a year, and it’s been everything I hoped it would be: I’ve been eating free food, I’ve spent time with my brothers and sister, I went on walks with my dog, I read until ran out of books, I watched at least a million movies, and boy did I sleep. I’m on a break and I’m doing all of the things I love, probably like you guys are doing right now, too. I’m finding though as I reflect on my time home, that I’m leaving unfulfilled. I’m leaving sad, and anxious, and distant from myself, which is how I felt when I left the city.
I keep wondering why being home, a place I associate with my family, my childhood best friend, and sleep, is leaving me feeling so unhappy and so estranged from myself. When I came home I think I expected life to miraculously get better, and having time away to rest would solve all of my issues. Home to me feels like this magical place where I can escape almost everything, and I knew all along that that was incorrect, but now I’m feeling the weight of it. When I was trying to figure out what to write about Mike directed me to Revelation 21 for God’s version of “being home”, and it reads this:
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
5He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”
-Revelation 21: 3-5
I don’t know about you, but this is not what I think about when I think about home. God makes it pretty clear though that the definition of home is not necessarily family, or childhood friends, or sleep. Home is God in all his glory. We go home the day God makes all things new. Home is being with God fully. The quote is right, there really is no place like home. And while we’re not going to be with God fully until Jesus comes back, there’s still a way to feel at home here on Earth, which I think is where we hold a great deal of responsibility. I think the only way we can start to feel anything close to our heavenly home is by spending time with God.
Even though I love being home, I’m not leaving feeling refreshed and new, because this time I failed to spend time with God. To be perfectly honest, I had 10 days of nothing to do, and I spent it on doing everything except spending it with God. I wasted my break, and I’m sure some of you are, too. While you’re home spend time with your family, eat, sleep, read, but do it all after you spend time getting to know God and your eternal home.
You have an entire month to get to know God and feel at home, so please use it. I don’t have anything profound to end, but I will tell you to not be like me when you’re home (I feel like most of my advice to you guys is to not be like me, but as long as we’re learning, I’ll take it).